How do I reach an orgasm? by Dorothy

Is it OK to fake an Orgasm?

Is there something wrong with a woman that has not
experienced an orgasm?

These are a couple of questions that I have been getting
asked more and more, so I thought why not address them
through my articles? As much as I have written this for my
ladies, men you can benefit from reading this little bit of
info also!

There is nothing physically wrong with women that have not
experienced the big O! They simply just have not learned
how. It is very much a mental exercise as well as physical.
Way back when..., we were taught that it was a bad thing to
touch ourselves (masturbate). That was a big wrong turn for
a lot of women. I have read a lot of letters from women that
tell me that they were in their late 20`s before they ever
experienced an orgasm, one that they would consider an
orgasm anyway. This is why I express over and over, ladies
learn about YOUR BODY! Orgasms are very connected to ones
mind when dealing with the female. If you are worried or
tired or feeling a bit at odds with your partner, that door
is definitely going to be locked, even nailed shut. It will
take some work and patience to find the key to open up that
mind trap.

Too many women spend way too much time worrying about
orgasms. Worry only puts up the walls that will totally
disable your mind to relax and float. Think of watching and
waiting for water to boil. By the time it has boiled you
have lost interest. Or when you are trying to call someone
and the line is forever busy, that just frustrates you to no
end. If you would have just carried on with something else
at the time, the water would have boiled before you knew it,
the phone line would be cleared, and you would be
frustration free! Orgasms work in very much the same way. Do
not think about them. Do prepare for them, feel your body
call them, desire them, fantasize, open your mind up to a
total zone of passion. Pure thoughtless passion!

Some women feel that if they do not orgasm, their partner
will feel that they have failed them, or vice verse.
(GUILT) There is absolutely no room for guilt or shyness in
the arena of sex! This is one of the reasons women FAKE the
O! It does not do any real physical harm to fake most things
in life. The only one that is losing out though, is you. You
are fooling no one but yourself. Then you end up feeling
even worse because you pretended at a time when you should
be open and real.

There is also the time thing. Women are in need of more
stimulation and time to relax and be able to find their
zone. Men tend to think that five minutes is just
super...NOT...so ladies this is where communication comes
into play. You must tell your man that NO, I am not there
yet. I know this sounds bossy, but most men hardly ever have
a problem telling the women what to do in bed and when to
not stop. Also ladies please tell your man to do like the
yellow pages commercial, "Let your fingers do the walking".
Women like and need the finger play. Also ladies if your man
is just down there asap...tell him to slow down. This can
also throw women off when they are feeling rushed.

When you are close to your partner and feel that sex is in
the air, enjoy even just the kiss at first. I mean really
enjoy just the kiss. Allow your body to warm up and get your
juices flowing. Or really feel his touches, and listen to
your partners voice when he says your name. If he never says
your name, tell him too. He will oblige immediately. Tell
him you want to hear him admire your body. A women on the
norm has a hard time verbalizing what she likes. This is
just because we were raised to be nice girls. Well, TALK!
You will be surprised at how much more relaxed you become
and excited once you can talk to your partner about touching
where and how. Tell your partner to join you in that little
game. A women's body will react very nicely if you just
allow the feelings of a kiss to penetrate you.

Another turn on for you ladies is to touch yourself while
your partner watches. Yes, you will love it once you allow
him into your world. He will not say no to that request. To
see or hear how excited he gets watching you enjoying your
body is another very big turn on for you. This is also a
very good way to keep your mind away from the, "will I or
won`t I" question. Think of anything but the ultimate O!

G-spot orgasms are pretty easy to reach. We can get there as
easy as men have the ability to get hard. To get there just
tell your man to do the, "walking". Or take his hand and
guide him down to where your body is wanting his touch.
G-Spot orgasms feel nice and they are basically our juice
fountain, that is when we get very wet. This is when your
body prepares for penetration.

It is the clitoral Orgasm that most women are after. Those
ones will shake your ground. But again, these are mind
connected. I will say I am speaking for the norm of women.
Every women is different to a degree, but we are basically
after the same thing. We all want to feel that intense
vibration and the total body rush that runs through our
body. It is an adrenaline rush like no other. To know we
have that kind of control in our minds and bodies also
boosts our self-esteem! That my Ladies is a very good thing!

Some women are sensitive enough that they will react
instantly to a touch. That is not always that good. Her
orgasm at that point will be quick and over before she even
gets to really appreciate it. The longer it takes to reach
that ,"O" Zone, the more intense the orgasm. That is another
reason you want to learn to control your body. Eventually
you will be able to tell your mind when and where!

A very, very good way to learn about your body is to bring
yourself to orgasm. I tell women that all the time. You need
to know and be able to connect with your own mind before you
can allow someone to do it for you. Once you can learn to
control your minds ability to fantasize or totally zone out,
your body will follow naturally. Ladies again, it is so
important to learn this because it keeps your mind off
whether or not the O is going to happen. Once you have
learned about your body, you will be able to bring that O on
yourself just with your mind. A little hand stimulation is
also your minds best friend here. You will know how much
stimulation you will need at the time. You will eventually
know your entire body`s secret passages to feeling. Yes!
Very yummy. So my words here, are to get to know your
secrets.. and HAVE FUN!

Remember Ladies, men are not born with your road map to
orgasm. First you need to draw it for him. Then show it to
him. From there it is totally the big," O" every time. This
is my recipe to the one thing that women can do over and
over again, without a rest period. Ha!! Sorry guys, we were
born that way.

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Laughter and Orgasms are Great Bedfellows

John Callahan

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When modern woman discovered the orgasm, it was combined
with modern birth control, perhaps the biggest single nail
in the coffin of male dominance.

Eva Figes

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com

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